How to be a Southern Belle

All Southern women strive to be belles

Difficulty Level: hard      Time Required: 10,512,000 minutes

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Here's How:

1. Offer Mint Julep or Iced Tea to everyone who visits your house.
2. Eat grits everyday for breakfast.
3. Refer to your house as "The Plantation" no matter how small your house may be.
4. Refer to all men as "gentlemen caller" or "beaux".
5. Never let a man know you're interested or chase him because you know there are too many men who want you for you to expend the extra effort.
6. When you have a dating dilemma and have one gentleman caller over when you are expecting another, claim to be "expired" and excuse yourself for a nap until he leaves.
7. Whenever you are asked to do any work, fan yourself and claim to have the "vapors."
8. Refer to every party you go to, even a kegger at the local university, as a "cotillion." All other parties are yankee garbage.
9. Try to use words like "darlin'", "sweet" or "precious" in every sentence.
10. Belong to a country club. If you don't, refer to any club you belong to as a "country club". No one will know the difference.
11. Set under a magnolia tree with a parasol fanning yourself often. Passers-by will take notice of your belle-ness.
12. Never marry a Yankee unless you want to be a Yankee by association.
13. Never be seen without your makeup and girdle.
    

Tips:

1. A parasol and an umbrella are not the same thing. If you refer to your parasol as an "umbrelly" you will never be a belle.
2. Being a belle is a lifetime of work so practice everyday.
   

Related Features:

• How to Make a Mint Julep
• The Southern Belle Primer