All southern women strive to be belles.
Difficulty: Hard
Time Required: It's a full time job.
Here's How:
- Offer Mint Julep or Iced Tea to everyone who visits your house.
- Eat grits everyday for breakfast.
- Refer to your house as 'The Plantation' no matter how small your house may be.
- Refer to all men as 'gentlemen caller' or 'beaux.'
- Never let a man know you're interested, or chase him, because there are too many men who want you for you to expend the extra effort.
- When you have a dating dilemma and have one gentleman caller over when you are expecting another, claim to be 'expired' and excuse yourself for a nap until he leaves.
- Whenever you are asked to do any work, fan yourself and claim to have the 'vapors.'
- Refer to every party you go to, even a kegger at the local university, as a cotillion. All other parties are yankee garbage.
- Try to use words like darlin', sweet or precious in every sentence.
- Belong to a country club. If you don't, refer to any club you belong to as a country club. No one will know the difference.
- Sit under a magnolia tree with a parasol, fanning yourself often. Passers-by will take notice of your belle-ness.
- Never marry a Yankee unless you want to be a Yankee by association.
- Never be seen without your makeup and girdle.
Tips:
- A parasol and an umbrella are not the same thing. If you refer to your parasol as an 'umbrelly,' you will never be a belle.
- Being a belle is a lifetime of work, so practice everyday.
